We had just gotten ready for bed. Settled under the covers, I reached over and turned the light on my bedside table off. I remember our conversation like it was yesterday.
He started. My friend told me his wife doesn't want to know when he looks lustfully at another woman. It's too upsetting for her.
I replied. Really? I'm just the opposite. I'd rather know. It's what I don't know that scares me the most.
And that's how it started. The conversation that began my husband's full and complete disclosure.
I was right. I did feel scared as he revealed a sexual history I had not been aware of. But in the midst of the pain and confusion I was feeling, I also felt…peace?
Yes, it was peace. I could deal with what was being laid out in front of me. Our room was still dark, but a flicker of light was shining out of that darkness.
It was truth. And I had waited a long time to hear it.
The beauty of his words of truth was that it was the start of something essential for our relationship. We were talking, honestly talking, for the first time in our entire marriage. This mixture of honesty and vulnerability was the hope I needed — our marriage needed — to have a future together.
I believe a marriage relationship cannot be strong without honesty and communication. When both husband and wife are willing to ask and answer the hard questions.
To tell me the truth, to risk losing it all, he had to trust me — and God. Because I had the power to destroy him and everything he held dear.
To be continued…
1. This Is My Solemn Vow