I was not one of those ostrich wives that happily preferred to hide my head in the sand. If anything, I was more suspicious and distrusting than most.
I didn't suspect my husband was viewing pornography until I found it on our computer that day. And I certainly never suspected my husband was having an affair with another woman. I was never naive enough to think he could never do that to me. In fact, unfaithfulness was one of my greatest marriage fears.
I have learned that liars always get caught at some point. It's like a built-in safety net and I have a great deal of faith in that.
I also believe that our intuition is stellar. You may not know specifically what's going on, but eventually, your gut will nag you into suspicion of something. Maybe you just have to ask the right questions?
Far too often, we talk ourselves out of or allow our spouse to minimize our suspicions. And I often left those conversations feeling selfish and guilty for second-guessing him.
We have a sin nature that doesn't like to get caught. Our shame and guilt is so powerful we would rather hide it from everyone then face the embarrassment and disappointment of others. The deeper we are in the sin, the harder it is to break free alone. So we're caught in this ugly spiral, in a state of contention, where right and wrong tug and pull at us, and we feel like there is no way out.
Cue the hope.
One of the best ways out of sin is confession. And maybe a close second is when someone who loves us confronts us about our sin. I shine a light over the darkness of my own sin or someone else does. Either way, I can no longer hide from it.
And that's a great place to start.
To be continued here…