I bought the book hoping it would provide the "break through" I was looking for. I'm a little over half-way through the book and I haven't given up hope for that yet. He has a very honest, biblical perspective that I appreciate. It's not always easy to hear, but I appreciate it. Reminds me of reading "The Wounded Heart" by Dan Allender...a whole lot of truth and conviction. That's what we need, though, someone who is telling us the truth, even if it hurts or challenges our thinking.
In a nutshell, Dr. Schaumburg makes the point that the "path to freedom, purity, and restoration" are through sexual redemption. Perhaps I'll share a little more about that in another post (once I've finished the book), but for now, I'd like to write some quotes from the book that really struck a chord with me AND encourage you to read this book at some point, particularly if you and/or your spouse are struggling with the ramifications of sexual sin (pornography, adultery, or even childhood sexual abuse). This book assumes that you have a desire to have "sexual and relational healing".
From a biblical perspective, we are all sinners. Every day we are making choices that go against God. The choice to commit adultery, view pornography, lust...are because we are sinners. This is not a justification. I'm merely saying that when we ask "why did this happen?" or "how could they have done this to me" the basic answer is because we are sinners.
"Sin is a failure to let God be God. Ultimately, sin results from placing ourselves and our desires ahead of God."
"Sexual sin is enslavement to sexual activity, a state of mind, a self-centeredness that pushes away the truth. Even negative consequences of sexual sin do not produce change because they lack the ability to effect repentance."
"Conviction is a deep spiritual sorrow for sin. It is not disgust or shame of being caught."
"Without conviction and the application of grace the best we can hope to achieve is frustrating, long-term behavioral management versus authentic and lasting heart change."
"Behavior can be managed to a degree, but real change from the inside out is essential and is always the work of God."
"Repentance is what happens on the inside; it is not an effort to change behavior through a process of steps or choosing to look away when tempted to lust."
"Past experiences, good and bad, shape us, but they don't dictate or make us do what's wrong."
"...there is an Ultimate Reality greater than our painful situations. At all times we are to pursue the path that glorifies God."
"God in His judgment at the beginning of time and in His providence allows pain to come out of our experience of life. At the very beginning of time, Adam and Eve stepped out from under God's authority in an attempt to enhance their lives. Their rebellion led to God's judgement for both of them--pain, frustration, and futility. To this day we seek to avoid the reality of God's judgement. We choose a different path to deal with the profound disorder of all of life. The arrogance in us all that attempts to get control over all the difficult circumstances of life by our own efforts is a foolish attempt to question or replace a sovereign God."